The "Foot Fetish" Man

I met the "Foot Fetish" man on match.com. We were exchanging text messages Saturday afternoon and all in all he seemed like a fairly normal guy. He asked me a lot of questions, one being if I had any pet peeves or fetishes. I replied with my typical list of pet peeves: laziness, tardiness, lack of drive/motivation, not open to trying new things, etc. I have to say in all honesty I don't have any weird fetishes which got me thinking maybe I should get one, but that’s neither here nor there. I asked him what his were and he replied with "I've been told before that this is weird, but I have a foot fetish." I wasn't sure exactly what he meant; I've heard of fetishes before but never knew what the extent of one could be. I asked him to explain what the fetish consisted of. He said that he really likes feet, very pretty feet. He likes to touch them and look at them in different shoes. Kind of like trying on lingerie for your man but instead trying on shoes turned this guy on. He even went as far to say he wouldn’t date a woman if she had bad feet.
 
The fact that this guy really had a thing for feet didn’t bother me. We all have something...no matter who you are there is always something. What was strange is when he asked me to send him a picture of my feet. It was as if he wanted to pre-screen my feet before actually meeting me. Remember the Eddie Murphy movie "Boomerang?" There's this scene in the movie where Murphy's character pulls off the bed sheet to check out this beautiful woman's feet. They weren't to his liking so he decided to never see her again. I mean come on now, how picky can you be?!?!?
 
I decided to play along, I mean hell I never had a request like this before and was interested in knowing if my feet would pass his test. So I slipped off my Uggs and propped up my feet, hoping the lighting was just right to make them look magnificent. It's not easy trying to make your feet look pretty, at the end of the day they are feet and are not meant to be attractive. After a few takes I decided my feet weren’t going to get any better looking and sent off the picture. So here, for your viewing pleasure, are my big, size 10 feet:



Thankfully my toes were polished because if they weren't I think he may have had a stroke.

I anxiously awaited his reply, wondering if he liked what he saw. Ding ding ding! They were approved! He liked my feet! Woo hoo this meant he would meet me for a date! I felt so honored and overwhelmed with emotion that I gave my feet a little high five for a job well done. (I could not be being any more sarcastic.) 

When we did go out I found out he was living in his relative’s basement and unemployed. My poor feet were so disappointed L they literally couldn't wait to walk away.