One day as I was scrolling through profiles on match.com, I came across a man who was extremely attractive. One of those men you don't see often, he was a very handsome man. He was also 52. I commented on his picture telling him how great he looked for his age, not expecting a reply for a few reasons. 1. I wasn't really interested because there's a 16 year age gap. B. I'm a tall, thick woman with numerous tattoos and he was very clean cut. And 3. Even though my career is in a white collar field, I'm definitely more of a blue collar gal and my humor is less than politically correct. He looked as if he was PC and very white collar (his income bracket suggested that as well).
To my surprise, and also a what the fuck do I do now, he replied.
After a few emails and text exchanges he asked me to dinner and I decided to give it a whirl. I mean it's just dinner and he did pick a good spot, Distrito in Moorestown. I can't say no to Mexican. If Charles Manson asked me out for Mexican I'd go. Now that he's married (how the hell is he married and I'm single boggles me. The same way Honey Boo Boo's mom has a man...but I digress) I'd have to decline. I'm not a home wrecker.
Anyway, in person he was just as good looking as in his pictures. The age difference was in the back of my mind but itwas a nice dinner and he was easy to talk to. I really didn't think he was interested because he was, from what I could tell, checking out another woman at the bar but I received a message shortly after dinner telling me he'd like to see me again. I decided to overlook the old neck and wandering eye, which I called him out on, said I'd like that.
Now while at dinner he went over his failed marriages. Two of them. The first wife sadly overdosed and died, the second marriage failed for a few reasons. Mainly they lost a child at a young age and couldn't survive the loss. Really sad shit. He had been single for the last five years but missed being in a relationship. In the last five years he spent a lot of his time with his son who was a bit younger than me. So the guy knew more than I did when it came to dating games and how to be a player. He was very much into going to clubs, hitting AC for a long weekend (which is totally up my ally) and he stayed up later then me but that's not a hard thing to do. He also had already raised his kids and mine was just turning 3.
Well Mr. 52 Year Old ghosted on me. Yes ghosted is now a dating term meaning when you're talking or seeing someone and they disappear out of no where. No reason, no heads up and no signs. I know, sad that there's actually a term for that, but it happens all the time these days.
A month or two later I received an out of the blue text from him. I don't even remember what it said but he was working in town and asked if I'd like a ride home instead of taking the train (it was the dead of winter and he was using that as a pawn). He drove me home, going completely out of his way, everyday that week. He even cleaned off my car when it had snowed so I didn't have to. What a guy!
Conversation with him was super easy. It was so easy to talk to him which is hard to find. We sat in his car and just talked for as long as we could before I had to get to daycare to pick up my peanut. We ended up kissing the second time he gave me a ride home and it was hands down one of the best kisses I've had in all my years in dating.
Every time we'd part ways a text would come though within 15 minutes. He'd say how much he loved talking to me. How beautiful I was. How great of a woman I am. After we kissed, he'd go on and on about how he'd never had a first kiss like the one we did. In all of his years of dating I was the best kisser he's encountered. All very positive things one would think. He asked me out for dinner and I again said yes. Again, he ghosted on me.
Fast forward to May when I received a "Happy Mothers Day Valerie" text. The number looked familiar and it wasn't a mass text so after putting two and two together I knew it was him. Now this is where I'm disappointed in myself. I replied. I actually replied to the guy who dogged me not once but twice! He said he'd love for my daughter and I to come over sometime for pool time and dinner (not happening, she will only meet a man I plan on being in a LTR with), how he still wanted to make me Belgium waffles and of course how much he missed my kiss. Not to toot my own horn but toot toot, I'm a damn good kisser!
After talking for about a week or so he vanished again. Just as quickly as he had reappeared he was gone. Like a cloud of smoke. Maybe he's a seasonal fella and come late summer or fall, he'll scroll through his contacts and message me and say "Let's go to a pumpkin patch." To which I will kindly delete his text and skip off to the pumpkin patch with my daughter in hand.
You see this is not appropriate behavior ladies (and I'm sure this happens to men as well). I hear about this happening to people in their twenties up through their forties. I assumed a man in his fifties wouldn't behave in the same manner and my assumption was wrong. Online dating has made us all so disposable which I find to be so very sad. So next time someone "ghosts" on you, delete delete delete! Ain't nobody got time for that!
