Table for One Anyone?

So here I am...single yet again. Yes my friends I am so sad to say that things between RHM and I didn't work out. Sure as hell wasn't because I didn't want them to, it just wasn't going to work out in the long run. So what does one do? Stay in a relationship because they're 36, have a two year old little girl, a nice new car payment (RHM and I were living together, so the extra income was very nice), gained weight and scared shitless of having to "get back out there" again? Oh and did I mention the most important part of all...I was still very much in love with him when I ended it. That was the hardest part of all.

You know I went to therapy, we went to therapy, and the therapist told us that sometimes two people truly and deeply love one another but that doesn't mean they're meant to be together in a romantic partnership. I was so sick and tired of hearing the "Well if you really love one another" or the "Love can conquer all" statements that when the therapist said that I felt a huge sigh of relief come out of me. It was like after all the fighting through the hard times, all the trying to bend myself into a pretzel to try and make this work and not fail a THIRD time with him, that it was OK. It was OK that it wasn't going to work. It was all going to be OK.

It hit me when I was on the treadmill one morning and abc News was promoting the Flower Show. RHM took me to that show five years ago as one of our first few dates. My heart sunk as I counted back...five years! Five years and I knew I didn't want to marry him. I knew it wouldn't work. I knew it was time to move on.

We lived together for three months after the break-up. I do not recommend this to anyone! When he did move out he would see little girl a few times a week. Seeing him with little girl and the love they have for each other is heart breaking at times, especially when you thought, with everything you had, he was going to be the one. Her father. My husband. The man I live and die with. 

It's been five months now and I still cry from time to time. To me it's so interesting that I'm the one who initiated the break-up yet I'm still mending my broken heart. I know with 100% of me that it was the right decision...the right decision not just for me but for RHM as well. It would have been a struggle if we stayed together, too much of a struggle. Relationships are hard but they shouldn't be that hard.

The beauty of this story is that somehow, through it all, we remain friends. He is such a good man and such a good father figure to little girl.

So in the last two months I have gone out on a few dates. A few very interesting dates I cannot wait to write about. So wipe your tears all you sappy women and get ready because Single Gal Val is back!