In fact, he probably would have asked me to spank him with
my broom...but I digress.
As I waited to hear what this "shocking" news
could be, I couldn't have conjured up in my head what came out of his mouth
next. He said "I'm a swinger." Now I thought one had to have a partner
to swing, which was my first question. Here you can be single and swing, I guess
it may not be as easy as being coupled up but one can swing solo. I was flabbergasted.
I mean WTF - I have been on a lot of weird dates but this one was taking the
cake. He then pulled out his wallet and handed me his "Pleasure Den"
or some shit like that membership card to let me know he was for real. Yeah,
really fucking weird!
I asked him a bunch of questions, one of them being if I
could blog about him. He said I could, that is, if I joined him one night at
one of the parties he goes to. I said hell no! Though honestly I am
curious as to what goes on at one of these shindigs. Spankings?
Whippings? Man on man? Man with man and woman? Woman and man while others
watch? Is there a two for one deal some nights? But at the end of the day,
tattoos and all, I am a conservative woman when it comes to sex, especially
being shared and me sharing my man.
Needless to say things would never work out with my swinging
friend, but hell were my eyes opened up to a world most of us never think
about. He said swingers are regular people, just like you and me, which I can
totally see. We are all a little freaky deaky in our own way, and if swinging
is what gets you turned on, then I saw swing away!
The next day I checked my OK Cupid account. I was matched up
with a transsexual man. Yes a transsexual man. He was in the midst of
reclaiming his manhood (literally) after being raised female. I suppose he was
a hermaphrodite at birth. He was my match of the day. My fucking match of the
day. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and laugh at the insanities of
trying to meet someone. Swingers, witches, hermaphrodites...all within a five
day period. All I need now is a midget hitting on me. Oh wait, yup,
that already happened.